270 Chapters
Medium 9781523097821

12 Characteristics of Self-Betrayal

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“To begin with, think about this: When did Nancy seem worse to me, before I betrayed myself or afterward?”

“Afterward, for sure,” I said, his question pulling me back to his story.

“Yes,” said Bud, “and when do you suppose sleep seemed more important to me, before I betrayed myself or after?”

“Oh, I guess after.”

“And when do you suppose other interests—like my work responsibilities the next morning, for example—seemed more pressing to me, before I betrayed myself or after?”

“Again, after.”

Bud paused for a moment.

“Now here’s another question: Take a look again at how I started to see Nancy. Do you suppose that in reality she’s as bad as she seemed to me after I betrayed myself?”

“No, probably not,” I said.

“I can vouch for Nancy,” said Kate. “The woman described up there bears no resemblance.”

“That’s true,” Bud agreed.

“Yeah, but what if she did?” I interjected. “I mean, what if she really was a lazy and inconsiderate person, and even a bad wife, for that matter? Wouldn’t that make a difference?”

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Medium 9781574415247

Chapter 4. Running

Kathryn U. Hulings University of North Texas Press PDF


Before it happened, the day was bucolic. I stood on the dewy

September lawn in back of the synagogue drinking cream soda and eating a bagel shmeared with cream cheese. Michael, who was three years old, was sandwiched between Jim and me. Jim was in a neck brace, still recovering from an accident. A month earlier, he, Nathan, Sean, and

Joedy had been in a roll-over on I-25, while driving home from a day at

Water World; at the time, I was at home with Michael and Edie. After the accident, the kids were black-and-blue from seat-belt bruises, and

Jim was left with a compression fracture of his fourth vertebrae. They were still achy and sore, but on that September day, they were happy to be alive, in the sun, on the grass, at the Temple.

Between noshes on my bagel, Jim, Michael, and I waved goodbye to my four oldest children as they trotted off to their indoor classrooms for the first day of Hebrew school, to learn their alef-bet, how to daven

(pray), and the meaning of tzedakah (charity), so that dropping their allowance quarters in a charity box every Shabbat and each Sunday would make sense. The Rabbi stood in the middle of a swaying circle of parents and sang a lilting prayer, blessing the arrival of such a lovely morning and celebrating the future of the Jewish people, our children.

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Medium 9781574415247

Chapter 16. Thanking

Kathryn U. Hulings University of North Texas Press PDF


I gladly offer my heartfelt thanks to the following people, without

whom I would not have been able to complete this book: my adored husband, Jim Hulings, who has the patience of Job, and my beloved children and their significant others, Nathan, Sean, Joedy & Dave, Edie

& Jeff, Michael & Casey—the nine of them are my life and my muses; my parents, Marsha Udevitz and the late Norman Udevitz, my sister,

Jane Miller, and my brother Andrew Udevitz, who all taught me how to see, cherish, and celebrate both a simple moment and the big picture; my mother-in-law, Alice Hulings, and my late father-in-law, Russ

Hulings, for helping me believe I could write; Cindy and James Pursel for unyielding friendship; Casey Lord for bringing Michael the miracle of her love; all my dogs who, at the end of the day, still think I am grand even if I haven’t written a word; Professor John Calderazzo, a gem of a man, who daily inspires me and countless others to do things we never thought possible; my dear friend, Janelle Adsit, for sharing her laughter with me; Professors Pam Coke and Karla Gingerich for giving me their care and advise; Patryica Hatten for bringing play, light, and joy to our lives; Foothills Gateway Inc. for providing ongoing support for people with disabilities in Northern Colorado; the Poudre School

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Medium 9781574412444

Chapter Three: Year Three

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF



Summer Vacations

MARK AND I VACILLATED OVER WHETHER we could afford to spend two long semesters in Rochester. Summer school seemed feasible. Either way, we’d need more money in the bank. I applied to the state arts agency and a nonprofit arts advocacy group. I made some calls and waited to see where my job hunt would take me.

Juggling a baby and a busy preschooler wasn’t as taxing as

I feared. Michael was a curious baby. He didn’t cry the way

Sam did as an infant. He slept easily, and for long stretches at a time. With his hearty appetite, he grew fast. He nursed on both sides, making breastfeeding easy and comfortable. Such a thing to find comfort in, I thought.

Michael took his morning nap while Sam was in school. I relished the few quiet hours to myself. I cleaned the house and finished some long-neglected sewing and gardening projects.

Our backyard almost looked good enough to be featured in a gardening magazine, which encouraged us to spend even more time outside with the boys.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 6: Horses

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Six


They carried us into battle. They tilled our land. They transported us. Time and high tech marched on, and they were relegated largely to our entertainment. Now horses are again called on for a vital service—to help strengthen the frail of body, and inspire the frail of mind.

The young riders, however, think of the therapy horse more in terms of a big, soft neck to nuzzle, a velvety nose to rub, and a means of having fun. Well, not only the young riders.

More than 5,000 horses on this continent are entrusted with our fragile citizens, from two-year-olds to the geriatric.

The animals that transport such precious cargo, or stand patiently while novices rub them, or pick up their feet, obviously must have the temperament and training not to spook at an unexpected noise or movement, and to respond quickly to commands.

Therapy horses must be sound. Even a slight limp will cause an uneven gait, which can be detrimental in individual cases.

A selection of sizes and shapes is necessary to meet each client’s unique requirements. For example, a rider with tight muscles and tendons in his thighs and hips needs a mount with a narrow barrel, while someone with good flexibility will get more stretching from straddling a wider back.

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