289 Chapters
  Title Author Publisher Format Buy Remix
Medium 9781574412444

1. Favorite Toys

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

line of yellow beads up and down the thick, cherry-red wire mounted on a sturdy pine base. She sat next to him and began to narrate his play in the same quiet, deliberate way she had first talked with me on the phone. I had seen that kind of toy only a few times before. Even as an adult, I found moving the beads felt soothing and purposeful.

“Look, Sam, you’re making those yellow beads go up and down. You’re making them go up. Now you’re letting them fall down. That’s fun, Sam,” Nancy said.

She turned to me.

“Just describe what he’s doing. He’ll make the connections between the words you’re using and what they’re for. This toy is good for eye-hand coordination and visual tracking—the kind of motor skills he will need to learn to read.”

I began to wonder whether I was Sam’s problem. Of course,

Sam wasn’t talking because I wasn’t a chatty mother. My quiet love wasn’t enough. I should be walking up and down the aisles of the grocery store going on about red apples, and green peas, and orange oranges, I thought. That must be why he doesn’t know his colors. I didn’t coo. I didn’t baby talk. I didn’t refer to myself in the third person.

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Medium 9781576754801


Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

By applying the Familia Approach, we can all increase our ability to create positive influence in the world. We can facilitate experiences that foster joy and love within our families, while nurturing values that make us more caring people ready to serve our communities. We can create beloved and empowered community with family and friends who support each other as we pursue the evolution of our culture and the betterment of society. We can do all this when we have a clear vision, and believe in ourselves and our strategy.

Earlier, I described how multiple actions are often necessary to achieve our desired outcomes. Our vision of a better society actually involves a constellation of desired outcomes that begins with more empowered and caring individuals and families, who in turn can influence positive change among their communities and beyond. The effort we invest in our family networks is but one of the influences required to actualize this larger vision, which ultimately must involve hundreds of thousands of families participating in community service and action. Yet it is essential that we fully recognize that what we do in our family networks can lead to other activist actions, and this is even more possible when we have in mind what those other actions look like.

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Medium 9781576755846

16 A Gift in Wartime

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“So, how was everyone’s evening?” Avi asked with a big smile once the group had seated themselves in the room.

Lou looked around at them and was surprised to discover that he felt at home in the room, as if among friends. Yes, that is what they have become, he thought. Pettis, the fellow vet and clear-minded student. Elizabeth, the high-minded Brit with subtle humor and surprising self-honesty. Ria and Miguel, the oddly matched couple with an ongoing battle over the dishes. Jenny’s quiet and timid parents, Carl and Teri. Even Gwyn, Lou’s blustery counterpart, who had accused Lou of being racist. Lou started chuckling at the realization that he was even glad to see Gwyn.

“Lou, what’s so funny?” Avi asked.

“Oh nothing,” he smiled. “It’s just good to see everyone this morning, that’s all.”

“Even me?” Gwyn asked with a wry smile.

Especially you, Gwyn,” Lou laughed.

In the comfort of the moment it was easy to forget how much had changed since the morning before.

“So how do we get out of the box?” Avi asked rhetorically. “How can our hearts turn from war to peace? That is the question for today.”

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Medium 9781626564312

PART III From War to Peace

Arbinger Institute, The Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Lou barely slept that night. He tossed and turned as the mistakes of the last thirty years or so played themselves over and over in his mind. Cory was an object to him, he couldn’t deny it. His heart stirred in anger merely at the thought of Cory’s name. But there was a new feeling this night—a desire to be rid of the ache he felt regarding Cory rather than a desire to be rid of Cory himself. He was wanting his son back. Or perhaps more accurately, he was beginning to feel the desire to be Cory’s father again.

Speaking of ache, the pain he felt for banishing Kate was now acute. As he replayed what he had regarded as the mutinous meeting in the boardroom, he heard his words and witnessed his scowl afresh. He had been a child! He couldn’t afford to lose Kate, but his pride had driven him over a cliff and blinded him to a truth he suspected was obvious to everyone else—that Kate, not Lou, was the prime mover behind Zagrum Company’s success. How could I have been so blind! What am I going to do? How can I rescue the company?

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Medium 9781574411904


Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF


Bulldogging: A timed rodeo event in which the contestant dives from his saddle to grab the horns of a speeding steer, and wrestles it to the ground.

CanTRA: Canadian Therapeutic Riding Association, P. O. Box 24009,

Guelph, Ontario, CA N1E 6V8, (519) 767-0700, Email: ctra@golden. net, http://www.cantra.ca.

Clonus: A form of movement marked by contractions and relaxations of a muscle, occurring in rapid succession.

Contraindications: Physical or mental conditions which prevent an individual’s participation in an equine assisted program; in general, any condition which renders a particular line of treatment improper or undesirable.

CPR: Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, a procedure including the timed external compression of the anterior chest wall, to stimulate blood

flow by pumping the heart, and alternating with mouth to mouth breathing, to provide oxygen.

DPT: A series of shots containing a combination of vaccines to immunize against diphtheria, pertussis (whooping cough), and tetanus.

EAGALA: Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association, P. O. Box

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Medium 9781574411621

Post-Bereavement Grief

Donna S. Davenport University of North Texas Press PDF

Post-Bereavement Grief p

And so, wherever I go and wherever you go, the ground between us will always be holy ground. quoted by Henri Nouwen

So what, after all, does death take away, and what do you get to keep? Clearly, when a loved one dies, we have to give up the physical presence, and all that entails, of the deceased. We have known this all along, of course, but the totality of the experience is still a shock when it happens—and it is not comprehended all at once, but is usually realized progressively over time. He or she will not be there for birthdays anymore, or to exchange thoughts and feelings and hugs with, or to check out memories with. We will not see their faces again, or hear their laughter, or prepare a holiday meal with them. The physical reality of the person, which up until now we had always associated with who they were, will be gone. Giving up this earthly connection is usually very painful for us; acclimating to the world without the physical presence of the loved one is both the cause and the function of grief.

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Medium 9781576755846

5 The Pattern of Conflict

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Actually,” Avi said, “when our hearts are at war, we not only invite failure, we invest in it. Let me give you an example.

“One Saturday,” he began, “I returned home at about 5:45 p.m., just fifteen minutes before I was to meet a friend for tennis. Problem was, I had also promised my wife, Hannah, that I would mow the lawn.”

There were a few knowing chuckles around the room.

“Well, I raced to the garage, pulled out the lawn mower, and mowed it in a sprint. I then ran back into the house to get dressed for tennis. As I raced past Hannah toward the stairs, I mumbled that I was going to meet my friend Paul for a game of tennis. I was just about to the stairs when Hannah called after me, ‘Are you going to edge?’

“I stopped in my tracks. ‘It doesn’t need edging,’ I said. ‘Not this time.’

“‘I think it does,’ she said.

“‘Oh come on,’ I objected. ‘No one is going to pass our house and say, “Look, Marge, the Rozens didn’t edge!” It isn’t going to happen!’ This didn’t sway her in the least, so I added, ‘Besides, I ran the wheels of the mower up on the cement as I cut around the edges. It looks fine.’

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Medium 9781626567276

Chapter Three: In-groups and out-groups

Jana, Tiffany; Freeman, Matthew Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Let’s start with some good news: you probably already have the foundation for building authentic relationships across differences. You likely treat people with respect, listen, empathize, and stick with your friends through disagreements and challenging times. We are also fairly certain that your friends, colleagues, and family members do, as well. The problem is not that you and your peers are unfamiliar with healthy behavior. The problem is that you and they, like the rest of us, may be limiting your best behaviors to what we call the “in-group,” or the people we know and like best. An in-group might be people who went to the same university you did, people from your hometown, or, more problematically, people who share racial and cultural similarities to you. Remember from the previous chapters that when the bias relates to people-based differences, particularly the ones we cannot change or control, that is where trouble lurks. People who are not part of this in-group, however it’s defined, become an out-group. Unfortunately, we tend to demand more from out-groups in order to trust them, or to see them as competent.

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Medium 9781574413335


Kalena Cook, Margaret Christensen University of North Texas Press ePub

Go Confidently with
Expert Encouragement

Ina May Gaskin, C.P.M.

Founder and Director of The Farm Midwifery Center, Author and Founding Member of Midwives Alliance of North America

Spiritual Midwifery, by midwife Ina May Gaskin, inspired the collecting of natural birth stories from women of today for this book.

The Farm’s Midwifery Center delivered 1723 births over a nineteen-year period with an outstanding safety record: zero maternal mortality and only ten neonatal mortalities, three of which being lethal abnormalities. The majority were home births with 4.2 percent in a hospital. Only 1.4 percent of the births were C-sections.

So far, Ina May Gaskin is the only midwife that a birth maneuver has been named after. The Gaskin Maneuver is a position of the mom on all fours—hands and knees—for assisting shoulder dystocia. If a baby’s shoulder becomes stuck during delivery, moving the mom into this positioning allows gravity to open the way for the gentle birth.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 2: Benefits

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Two


The benefits of equine assisted activities (EAA) or therapeutic riding, though numerous and varied, can be grouped into four categories: physical, psychological, functional (cognitive), and educational.


Because a horse’s gait closely emulates that of a human, horseback riding gently and rhythmically moves the rider’s body in a manner comparable to walking. We all know how important walking is; experts say it is the only exercise we need if it is done consistently.

The most measurable effects from the way a horse’s motion moves the body include: greater strength and agility, improved balance and posture, weight-bearing ability, improved circulation, respiration, and metabolism. No other modality mimics the walking gait of a human and stimulates virtually every movement system in the body.

Walking takes more than muscles. It takes balance, a delicate coordination of different parts of the body and brain. Riding a horse allows the brain to practice correct walking movement patterns, giving not only the muscles an opportunity to experience the motion, but also the vestibular system, particularly for a person who moves very little.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 17: Barbara—Transverse Myelitis

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Seventeen

Barbara—Transverse Myelitis

One of the purposes of this book is to inspire people to “be the best that you can be,” to quote an old familiar phrase. Barbara Lamb is the epitome of this sentiment.

In high school, Barbara won awards for her art, helped kids as a volunteer through an organization called PALS, (Peer Assistant Leadership

Service), worked as an usher at the local major league baseball field, and typed sixty words per minute on her computer.

A typical teenager? Yes. Except for one thing. She has been paralyzed from the shoulders down since the age of two.

Barbara began a hippotherapy program when she was sixteen. At first, her sidewalkers supported her back with a hand behind each shoulder.

After several rides, she gradually began to sit up straight on her own, and we only steadied her with gentle pressure on her hipbones. If she leaned too far to one side, the therapist would ask the volunteer on the opposite side to press down on her hip, which would restore her balance.

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Medium 9781574411621

Family Tree

Donna S. Davenport University of North Texas Press PDF
Medium 9781574412697

Cold War

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Cold War

Joining forces for Ben, Sue and I looked for a place to settle in

together. During the spring of 1997, I drew circles and lines on the map—school, Bachman Recreation Center, routes to work. All pointers intersected at a block of older apartments just a short hike from

Gooch Elementary, Ben’s school. The once-proud apartments, gone to seed and drug dealers, were being gutted and renovated, like me.

Southern-mansion style, low-rise, verandas, hanging gardens, oversized rooms, lavish space; real plaster on the foot-thick walls, steel and brick superstructure built to last a century. Bay windows looking out on the oak-shaded lawn. Playground and a swimming pool just around the corner. Foliage at the bottom of the stairs where Sue could plant a garden.

We rented a three-bedroom apartment on the second floor: master for Sue, study/bedroom for me, cubby for Ben. My Mom and

Dad bought us a new washer and dryer set, blessing our reunion.

The dining room table doubled as Ben’s therapy desk, where trainers could sit. Searching the Salvation Army for treasures, I selected a Queen Anne sofa and matching chair recovered in green fleur-delis. I paid from my savings and offered it as a gift to Sue, an open hope chest. She branded the living room with a red fleur-de-lis mismatched chair. Her mark.

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Medium 9781574412444

1. The Beginning

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF



The Beginning

SOME GIRLS DREAM OF BECOMING A MOM, but I wasn’t one of them. I wanted to play the piano ever since I was six years old and heard my Aunt Helen play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

I was nine when I started class piano lessons. In the beginning, I practiced at home on a cardboard keyboard my teacher gave me. I imagined a sound like Helen made. Dad eventually brought home a turn-of-the-century “upright grand” piano—a pizza-parlor cast-off covered in deep blue paint. When I first pressed down on the ebony and ivory keys, the sound I made resonated all the way through my bones.

That same year, one of my teachers at Byron Kilbourn Elementary School decided I was gifted. Had I attended fifth grade at Milwaukee’s magnet school for gifted children, there would have been accelerated math, special study projects, even violin lessons, to go along with class piano I’d just started.

We visited the magnet school, but my parents wanted to think it over before enrolling me. Dad was attending Marquette

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Medium 9781574412697

Wished upon a Star

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Wished upon a Star

July 1990. Carrollton, Texas

The Carrollton Public Library didn’t smell like an office; it smelled

of cedar pencil shavings and Windex, an elementary school classroom. The tables were populated by schoolchildren writing their book reports. I was dressed for success: suit, tie, and briefcase. I didn’t belong here. Likely a pedophile, the librarian no doubt thought, playing hooky from work.

I should be in an office building downtown, handing speech drafts to a secretary, or on an American Airlines flight to New York to interview the CEO of IBM, or giving a presentation in the Dell boardroom.

The librarian, black-frocked Miss Colfin, hair done up in a Pentecostal bun, pretended to ignore me but I felt she was watching out of the corner of her eye. Would she think I was going to stash books in my briefcase and sneak out? Would she think it was full of drugs?

Trying to look professional, I found the card catalogue and pulled out the musty “AU” drawer.

“No, Blunderbuss,” a voice in my head said, addressing me.

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