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3. Playmates

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF


Sam’s preschool room was pleasant enough. One wall was lined with windows. The teacher, Mrs. Vargas, had a computer in the corner with a few games that taught the alphabet, math concepts, and counting. She seldom let Sam or the other eight children, all boys, use the computer. I could tell that Nick had

Down’s syndrome and Max had cerebral palsy. I couldn’t tell what the other children’s disabilities were. I didn’t ask because

I’d recently learned another one of the California Rules of Special Education Order: We Don’t Label A Child. They put the policy in place, ostensibly, because labels impose artificial limits upon children.

Mrs. Vargas was excited about the new, whole-language method of readying children for reading. She read books like

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? to the boys each day as they sat on carpet squares in a circle around her. She bought editions with pages as big as movie posters, and pointed to the giant-print words as she read them. Some of the books dwarfed Russell and John, the smallest boys in the class. Maybe they were preemies, I thought.

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Medium 9781576754801


Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

There is tremendous power when people gather in a circle. The circle serves to create a synergistic environment where people feel more connected and are better able to share and listen. In addition, many healing traditions recognize that the circle serves to facilitate healing by creating a vessel in which the positive energy generated by the group’s sharing is enhanced, negative energy that participants may be carrying is dissipated, and the group’s energy facilitates individual transformation.

My vision for society includes that, on any given day, thousands of circles of family and friends are expressing love for each other, gratitude for life, and optimism that we are making the world better for all. It involves people coming together as family and community, and sharing feelings and thoughts with each other that deepen connection, empower, and inspire. The best strategy for doing this is the unity circle. Learning to appreciate the power of these circles and how to facilitate them will prepare you with a valuable tool for making almost any group gathering an opportunity for inspiration. This chapter presents a series of examples of unity circles to activate your imagination around their many possible forms and to illustrate the role of the circle maker. The chapter ends with a review of key principles to assist the facilitator.

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Medium 9781574411904


Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF



1. From author’s interview with Michael Kaufmann, NARHA Communications Director, July, 2002.

2. Barbara Engel. The Horse, the Handicapped, and the Riding Team in a Therapeutic Riding Program, (1994) and Therapeutic Riding vols. I and II., (1998).

3. Sarah Muniz, NARHA Membership Coordinator, September, 2004.

4. Canadian Therapeutic Riding Association (CanTRA) website, April,

2004, http://www.cantra.ca.

5. From author’s interview with Michael Kaufmann, NARHA Communications Director, July, 2002.

Chapter One

1. From author’s interview with Brandon Barnette’s mother, Melissa

Turner, Keller, Texas, March, 2002.

2. From author’s interview with Ronald Faries, D.C., Keller, Texas, July,


3. AHA website, What is Hippotherapy, April, 2004, http://www.americanhippotherapyassociation.org.

4. NARHA website, About NARHA, April, 2004, http://www.narha.org.

5. EFMHA website, Fact Sheet, April, 2004, http://www.narha.org.

6. EFMHA website, article in NARHA Strides magazine, Winter 1998, by

Isabella (Boo) McDaniel, M.Ed., NARHA Master Instructor, co-founder of EFMHA, May, 2002, http://www.narha.org, link to EFMHA.

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Medium 9781855758186


Susanne Soborg Christensen Karnac Books ePub


In the previous chapters, we have discussed how we can develop acknowledging intimacy, and how our neurobiological development is directly influenced by acknowledging intimacy. In this chapter, we will try to look at the ways and means we can use in order to create and achieve acknowledging intimacy between us as partners. We shall also look at how this affects our children and how we, in a joint effort with our children, can develop an explicit acknowledging intimacy.

The tool we use is called the Acknowledging Dialogue. To us, this opens up an extremely efficient and exciting pathway to the development of deeper, more enduring, and generous relationships. The Acknowledging Dialogue is, first and foremost, a way of communicating which opens up a new connection and empathy. This dialogue is inspired by Active Listening and Imago Relationship Therapy.

We have chosen to call the tool the Acknowledging Dialogue because, to our way of thinking, acknowledgement is a central concept. In this context, acknowledgement means a way of being which enables us to put ourselves in our partner’s shoes and see the world through our partner’s eyes. In addition, acknowledgement includes the ability to respect the fact that our partner may see the world differently from us. As we have mentioned, difference does not equal deficit.

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Medium 9781574412970

Secret 12: Prepare for Baby’s Arrival: Beyond the Name and Nursery

Kalena Cook and Margaret Christensen, M.D. University of North Texas Press PDF


Prepare for Baby’s Arrival

Beyond the Name and Nursery


Breastmilk is alive and life-giving like a white blood transfusion to your baby.

The best time to begin breastfeeding is right after birth while your newborn is alert. Help your baby latch on properly by getting the whole areola (brown circle with the nipple) in your baby’s mouth.The suction action of your baby helps to contract your uterus (along with external massage below your belly button) which is important to reduce bleeding.

Colostrum, the clear fluid before your milk comes in, is the perfect food for a newborn.

Your milk comes in within a few days.The more often you feed, the less discomfort you’ll have from engorgement, and the more milk you provide your baby. Engorgement, a normal fullness or swelling of the breasts, occurs when you first begin producing milk. Breastfeeding as often as possible relieves the pressure. Ice packs also offer relief. Don’t give formula supplements or water to your baby for the first three to four weeks.

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Medium 9781576755846

5 The Pattern of Conflict

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Actually,” Avi said, “when our hearts are at war, we not only invite failure, we invest in it. Let me give you an example.

“One Saturday,” he began, “I returned home at about 5:45 p.m., just fifteen minutes before I was to meet a friend for tennis. Problem was, I had also promised my wife, Hannah, that I would mow the lawn.”

There were a few knowing chuckles around the room.

“Well, I raced to the garage, pulled out the lawn mower, and mowed it in a sprint. I then ran back into the house to get dressed for tennis. As I raced past Hannah toward the stairs, I mumbled that I was going to meet my friend Paul for a game of tennis. I was just about to the stairs when Hannah called after me, ‘Are you going to edge?’

“I stopped in my tracks. ‘It doesn’t need edging,’ I said. ‘Not this time.’

“‘I think it does,’ she said.

“‘Oh come on,’ I objected. ‘No one is going to pass our house and say, “Look, Marge, the Rozens didn’t edge!” It isn’t going to happen!’ This didn’t sway her in the least, so I added, ‘Besides, I ran the wheels of the mower up on the cement as I cut around the edges. It looks fine.’

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Medium 9781574412697


Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF


saving ben: a father's story of autism

“We tried that but he cried.”

And he kept the other kids awake, I thought.

Sue was having no more of this discussion. She hurried us toward the door.

“I’ll bring some Gas-X tomorrow. Dan, let’s go.”

The next day, Ben was in a corner by himself, rocking in his rowboat, staring in the mirror.

“He fusses when we try to make him sit with the other children,” the teacher said, glancing at Ben. “When he’s crabby like that he crawls to the corner and we just leave him alone.”

I didn’t blame her. Do Not Disturb a Quiet Baby.

“Did he take a nap?” I asked.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, Mr. Burns. No, he did not. Do you have a number where you or your wife can be reached during the day?”

On Friday, at naptime, the teacher phoned me. Ben was screeching like an ambulance siren and the other kids were going off like car alarms.

“He’s a lovely little boy,” the teacher said. “I’m afraid we can’t keep Ben.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised. I couldn’t keep him either.

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Medium 9781771870788


Forrie, Allan Thistledown Press ePub
In “Requiem” by Harriet Richards a woman reflects on her marriage to an artist who has gone to Japan, doubting – as she reads the letters describing his interactions with other women – that he will ever return.

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Medium 9781855758186


Susanne Soborg Christensen Karnac Books ePub


When we become parents, it is often quite natural that the grandparents move closer to a family with young children. This can be a great support, but many have probably also experienced how this can have a disturbing effect and cause conflicts.

There can be an imbalance between welcoming support and closeness and suffocating offers of help. The impact of any such lack of balance will depend on how much insecurity we carry with us in our baggage.

Often, the grandparents show a remarkable degree of tolerance and greater understanding of their grandchildren than they were able to show towards their own children. It can seem contradictory and even painful to see how our parents are capable of giving to our children all the things we longed for when we were children.

There will also be all the remarks and the “good advice” from grandparents to us as parents, which reminds us of scenarios we experienced as children and which we would prefer not to repeat and with which we disagree… you will regret going to her at the slightest cry… when you were children you were not allowed to dominate the conversation at the dinner table the way Agnete does … For many reasons, there will be lots of opportunities for disagreements about how to raise children.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 23: Milan—Sensory Damage, Auto Accident

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Twenty-Three

Milan—Sensory Damage, Auto Accident

Milan McCorquodale is a very determined young man. He wanted a basketball scholarship. No matter that he wasn’t exceptionally tall—he had talent. He worked hard, practicing day and night, and he earned the coveted scholarship. Graduating from high school, he looked forward to playing four years of collegiate basketball at an Alabama university. It was not to be. A car crash sent him to the hospital with traumatic brain injury. “. . . kind of like a stroke on both sides of the brain,” his mother,

Christa McCorquodale, described the damage.

Milan spent close to four months in a coma. One morning his nurse walked into his hospital room and said, “Good morning, Milan.” Her patient answered, “Good morning.”

“The nurse just about fainted,” McCorquodale said. “Milan didn’t speak again for a while. But those two words showed us that he was still with us.”

After Milan came out of the coma, and was able to leave the hospital, he began physical, occupational, and speech therapy, which he continues as of this writing. However, there was no NARHA center within driving distance where he could start a program of equine therapy.1

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Medium 9781574412444

1. Summer Vacations

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF



Summer Vacations

MARK AND I VACILLATED OVER WHETHER we could afford to spend two long semesters in Rochester. Summer school seemed feasible. Either way, we’d need more money in the bank. I applied to the state arts agency and a nonprofit arts advocacy group. I made some calls and waited to see where my job hunt would take me.

Juggling a baby and a busy preschooler wasn’t as taxing as

I feared. Michael was a curious baby. He didn’t cry the way

Sam did as an infant. He slept easily, and for long stretches at a time. With his hearty appetite, he grew fast. He nursed on both sides, making breastfeeding easy and comfortable. Such a thing to find comfort in, I thought.

Michael took his morning nap while Sam was in school. I relished the few quiet hours to myself. I cleaned the house and finished some long-neglected sewing and gardening projects.

Our backyard almost looked good enough to be featured in a gardening magazine, which encouraged us to spend even more time outside with the boys.

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Medium 9781576755846

10 Choosing War

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“I was raised,” Yusuf began, “in a village of rock-walled homes in the hills on the western edge of Jerusalem. The village, called Deir Yassin, had been my family’s home for at least two centuries. But that all ended early on the morning of April 9, 1948, at the height of the Arab-Jewish fighting surrounding the establishment of Israel. I was just five years old at the time. I remember being awakened by shouting and gunfire. Our village was being attacked by what I later learned were members of a Jewish underground military group. My father grabbed me from bed and thrust me and my two sisters into my parents’ room. He then pulled a rifle from under his mattress and, pulling on his boots, ran out of the house. ‘Stay inside!’ he yelled to us. ‘Don’t come out for anyone, you hear? Until I return, God willing.’

“Those were the last words I ever heard my father speak. When it was over and we left the protection of our stone walls, bodies and exploded body parts littered the streets. My father was among the dead.”

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22 A Strategy of Peace

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Do you remember yesterday morning when I drew a pyramid and divided it into two levels?” Yusuf asked. “I called one level ‘dealing with things that are going wrong,’ and the deeper level ‘helping things go right.’ Remember?”

Everyone nodded.

“Then you’ll remember how we agreed that we normally spend most of our time dealing with things that are going wrong, even though that isn’t ideal.”

Again, the group nodded.

“I’d like to give you more detail around that pyramid,” he said. “It forms a structure that governs everything we do here at Camp Moriah with the children, with the staff, and with you. It shows not only how to find peace, but how to make it. It shows how to replace conflict with cooperation. Yesterday we called it the Change Pyramid because it guides all attempts to get others to change or improve. Since the change we at Camp Moriah are most interested in is the change from war to peace—first within us, and then without—we often call the more detailed version the Peacemaking Pyramid.”

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Chapter 19: Kate—Paralysis, Auto Accident

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Nineteen

Kate—Paralysis, Auto Accident

Kate Stuteville was a good athlete. She had fun in the first grade, particularly while playing sports. She was also a good student and enjoyed learning. Before she knew it, the first semester ended and holiday vacation had come. More fun times for Kate—her first Christmas as a student, not just a little kid any more. Neat things under the tree, like cool sweaters to wear to school and other grown-up items. She was anxious to go back to school. It would be another week, which seemed like a long time to a six-year-old.

It would be a long time before Kate entered a classroom again. The day after Christmas, an automobile accident sent her to the hospital. A spinal cord injury kept her there for two and a half months, paralyzed from the waist down. Tragically, the injury was complete. Kate could not walk.

Her fighting spirit, however, suffered no damage, if anything emerging stronger than before the accident. Only ten days after her release from the hospital during spring break, she went back to school, courageously tackling a new, unknown life in a wheelchair.

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Medium 9781605093482

Chapter Ten Puppy Love: Teaching Pet Care

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

IT WAS A RAINY morning and the SeaWorld coaches and trainees were gathered in the training room. Head trainer Clint said, “I noticed some of you were working on the animals’ dental hygiene the other day. It made me think about what a far cry those procedures are from what we went through back when I first started in this job.”

“Who was president then, Clint?” Jared, a trainer coach, asked from the back of the room. “George Washington?” Good-natured kidding was part of the SeaWorld culture, and the remark brought guffaws from the audience.

“I can’t remember,” Clint replied, playing along. “I just know it was back in the horse-and-buggy days. Anyway, looking back to those times, I can’t believe how naive we were, how lacking in even a rudimentary understanding of these killer whales, compared to today. We were going strictly by trial and error.

“As you know, when we’re working with a baby whale, we spend a lot of time before getting in the water with him, establishing trust with him and the mother. Getting the mom’s trust is the main thing. She has to trust us tremendously to allow us in the water with her little baby.”

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