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Medium 9781576754511

Step 2: Give Yourself a Break

Klaver, M. Nora Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama

The Mayday! process has begun. At this point, you see the gap between what you have and what you need. You might even feel this disparity acutely. You have an idea of how the need could be met but have decided to remain open to other options. There is a strong possibility that fear still holds you back from obtaining the gifts of flow and connection that come from asking for help. It’s as though fear jams your personal frequencies, stopping you from making any kind of mayday call. Now is the time to take another deep breath and to move on to Step 2.

It is damn difficult living life in this day and age. We face complexities and challenges that our ancestors couldn’t even begin to imagine. We are inundated with messages about how we should be, what we should buy, which groups we should belong to. Our minds are rarely at peace. We think constantly. We schedule our days, jamming them with more than we could ever possibly accomplish in twenty-four hours. Our bodies work overtime trying to squeeze “it” all in. And, to complicate matters, we have others to consider, too. We work to make sure they are provided with all they need. We involve our loved ones in almost all our major decisions. And through it all, there is very little room for us. When do we get a little “me” time? Who cares for the caregiver? Step 2 is all about breaking away from our relentless focus on everything and everyone else. To send out our mayday signals, we need to believe it is permissible to ask for help. That’s where the applied virtue of compassion comes into play.

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Medium 9781855757950

Chapter Five: Sleep and its complexities

Davids, Jenny Karnac Books ePub

A good night’s sleep is not achieved once and for all. Sleep can be affected by the ongoing preoccupations of the young child. There are many issues that may contribute to sleeping difficulties at this time of life. Anxieties around separation, concerns about the child’s relationships with his parents or with his siblings, as well as dilemmas in expressing strong feelings, may all show in sleeping problems. Ideas stirred up by watching television, or by witnessing an unusual event in the day, or by encountering something puzzling and new by which the child feels touched, can all affect sleep and cause temporary problems. Sometimes, the parent can help her child by listening for and talking about what has stayed with him, and by trying to put the worrying bit that is preoccupying and/or exciting for the child, literally buzzing around his head, in a kind of perspective. For example,

Four-and-a-half-year-old Tommy said he could not sleep because of the hammer. His mother remembered that he had visited the doctor a few days before. He had fallen, and, as part of the examination, the doctor had tested his reflexes with a hammer. At the time, Tommy had showed no particular reaction. His mother asked whether there was something about the hammer that he did not like. He replied that the hammer made his body jump and that felt funny. Slowly, he and his mother worked out that Tommy was worried that his body could suddenly start to jump or go wobbly again. He was much relieved when his mum explained what the doctor had been doing and why he had done it. It seemed that Tommy was anxious that he, after his fall, was losing control of his ability to move and stop his body.

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Medium 9781943874941

6 Managing and Leading the Learning

Laurie Robinson Sammons Solution Tree Press ePub



The mind is a powerful thing, isn’t it? Our thoughts create a physical reality in both the body and brain that affects our physical and mental well-being. The stories we tell ourselves can either cripple or sabotage change or they can catapult us to new heights of learning. It’s our thinking and our attitude, not our DNA, that determine the quality of our lives to a large degree. It’s called our mindset.

Carol Dweck (2006), a researcher at Stanford University, is well known for her published work on fixed and growth mindsets. A person with a fixed mindset believes that each of us has a fixed intellectual capacity and a set amount of talents and abilities that remain static throughout our lifetime. We are what we are through genetics. Those with a growth mindset, on the other hand, believe each person has talents, abilities, and intelligences that he or she can develop through effort, strong teaching, and personal persistence. We are what we think we are, and the sky is the limit. Our mindset unconsciously affects how we run and lead a classroom as well as how we instruct, encourage, and respond to students. A key question to ask oneself is, What is my teaching mindset?

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Medium 9781567264128

CHAPTER 1: Government Negotiation Goals

McIntyre, Legette Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

The government can’t even come close to providing all the goods and services it needs to operate using in-house resources, so it has long been policy to meet its requirements for supplies and services from the commercial marketplace. Taxpayers expect the government to do this in a smart manner, at fair and reasonable prices—hence the need for trained government negotiators. The job of a government negotiator is to satisfy the government customer’s needs in terms of cost, timeliness, and quality—while upholding the highest ethical standards at all times. As a government negotiator, you must also comply with all laws and regulations concerning socioeconomic policy, reporting and accounting requirements, transparency, and the like. No government negotiator should start planning for a negotiation without first considering and thoroughly understanding these basic goals.

Hand in hand with the concept of fairness is the requirement to negotiate in good faith. Negotiating in good faith means that you must honestly strive to reach agreement on differences through compromise and not take unfair advantage of the other party. Leading a contractor on in a negotiation by implying that you have funds available to consummate the deal when in fact you know you don’t is an example of negotiating in bad faith. In this case, at the very least, you have caused the contractor to expend time, energy, effort, and money to no good purpose. This is simply not fair to the contractor.

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Medium 9781855750869

29. Talkativeness. [1915]

Ferenczi, Sandor Karnac Books ePub
Medium 9780876111925

5. Occupation

Robinson, Charles M. Texas State Historical Assn Press ePub



Recruits drill on the beach as volunteers arrive to augment Taylor’s army. The United States relied heavily on ill-trained and poorly disciplined citizen volunteers for the bulk of its fighting power. John Frost, Pictorial History of Mexico and the Mexican War (Philadelphia: Charles Desilver, 1862), Author’s Collection.

EVEN AS THE TWO ARMIES were fighting at Resaca de la Palma, President Polk met with his cabinet. Unaware of events on the Rio Grande, the main concern was breaking what appeared to be an impasse between the United States and Mexico. “I said that in my opinion we had ample cause of war,” Polk wrote in his diary, “and that it was impossible that we could stand in statu quo, or that I could remain silent much longer; that I thought it was my duty to send a message to Congress very soon and recommend definite measures.” All agreed that if the Mexicans committed any hostile act, the president would ask Congress for a declaration of war. At 6 P.M. the same day, however, Adjutant General Jones arrived with dispatches from Taylor describing the attack on Thornton’s men several weeks earlier. Polk now had his justification, and immediately summoned the cabinet, which unanimously agreed that a war message should be sent to Congress. When the meeting broke up at 10 P.M., the president set to work on his message. It was submitted to Congress at noon on Monday, May 11. The same afternoon, the House of Representatives approved a declaration of war by a vote of 173 to 14, with 20 abstentions. On Tuesday, the Senate approved the declaration by a vote of 42 to 2.1

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Medium 9781936763252

Chapter 7 Sequence / Cause and Effect

Patricia M. Cunningham Solution Tree Press ePub


Sequence / Cause and Effect

There are three common text structures found in informational text. First, many texts are descriptive. These texts focus on a single topic and present important facts about that topic. Main Idea Tree lessons (chapter 6, page 53) help readers organize ideas from descriptive informational texts. Second, some informational texts compare and contrast various items in a category. Double bubbles and data charts (chapter 8, page 73) help students compare and contrast two or more items to organize information from an informational text. The third common text structure organizes ideas or events according to the order in which they occur. Sometimes one event causes another event, and there is a sequential relationship and a cause-and-effect relationship between events. Reading informational text standard three (RI.3) requires students to understand these sequence and cause-and-effect relationships. Timelines and step maps are organizing frameworks that help students think about and describe these relationships. Once students record the order of events, they decide if any of the events caused other events. Constructing timelines and step maps helps focus student attention on these important sequential and causal relationships.

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Medium 9781936764761

Appendix F: The Task-Analysis Guide

Kit Norris Solution Tree Press ePub

The following table delineates tasks featured throughout this book as lower- or higher-level-cognitive-demand mathematical tasks.

Table F.1: Cognitive Demand Levels of Mathematical Tasks

Lower-Level Cognitive Demand

Higher-Level Cognitive Demand

Memorization Tasks

•These tasks involve reproducing previously learned facts, rules, formulae, or definitions to memory.

•They cannot be solved using procedures because a procedure does not exist or because the time frame in which the task is being completed is too short to use the procedure.

•They are not ambiguous; such tasks involve exact reproduction of previously seen material and what is to be reproduced is clearly and directly stated.

•They have no connection to the concepts or meaning that underlie the facts, rules, formulae, or definitions being learned or reproduced.

Procedures With Connections Tasks

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Medium 9781609949648


Zhexembayeva, Nadya Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub
Medium 9781628872088

4 Belgium

Arthur Frommer FrommerMedia ePub

Brussels’s Grand-Place with flower carpet.

I t never fails to amaze. You round the corner of a perfectly ordinary street—in Ghent, in Brussels, in Bruges—and there rushes toward you a mammoth medieval square. Soaring belfry towers of the 1200s, flying red-and-yellow heraldic flags, giant Gothic cathedrals surging with vertical lines into the sky above. Turreted town halls adorned with streaming pennants. Intricately sculpted cloth halls and guild houses of the 1300s, the 1400s. Again and again, on every visit, in an experience that never grows stale, you react with physical thrill to the most radiantly beautiful city squares in all the world—in Belgium.

In a country of frequent grey skies, the predominant impression is nevertheless one of color. It is color that best recalls a Belgian vacation: the bright, vibrant reds and greens of Flemish masterworks of the late Middle Ages, the Memlings and van Eycks, the Brueghels and Rubenses, found in no fewer than 16 major museums; the warm, orange-yellow glow glimpsed through the casement windows of more restaurants per capita than anywhere else on earth, their interiors brightened by dancing firelight from open hearths, their entrances stacked with displays of red lobsters and black mussels; the festive rose-and-lavender stripes of the canvas bathing huts along the 70-kilometer beach of the Belgian coast.

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Medium 9781576753606

5. The Aligned Thinking Pyramid

Steffen, James Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

COACH INVITED Ray and Carol to sit with him around a big oak table. When they were settled, he said, Over the years, thousands of businesspeople I coached helped me identify three Life Aligning Questions. The interesting thing is these three questions impact everyones life, whether they know it or not. Our goal has been to make it quicker, easier, and simpler: quicker to learn the Aligned Thinking tools that help answer the three questions, easier to remember the tools, and simpler to get what you really want from life.

As we agreed, it is important that you focus on just one of the questions at a time. Answering the first of these critical life-impacting questions will lead you to the next one.

Here is an illustration that shows how the three questions build, leading to the MIN Secret. The MIN Secret is the key to your living as an Aligned Thinker, 24/7.

Coach pulled out an eye-catching illustration and handed it to Ray and Carol.

MIN Secret

Ray spoke with some concern. It looks simple enough. But is it?

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Medium 9781855752436

6. On using an alphabet: recombining separable components

Symington, Joan Karnac Books ePub

Maria Rhode

The adequate function of the psychic skin depends on a part-object union between the parents which precedes normal splitting, as described by Melanie Klein. Autistic children have very early anxieties about the integrity of the skin and other body parts and the boundary between themselves and ot/iers. Maria Rhode describes her psychoanalytic work with an autistic boy who confused mental demarcations with bodily damage, resulting in defects in this boundary that made him unable, among other problems, to use letters of the alphabet as abstractions. He felt, rather, that words were bodies that became mutilated if the letters were moved into different words. She suggests that the basis of the capacity to tolerate new experience (Bion’s PS*-*D) is the ability to split in a way that does not damage the primitive parental link. She explores the qualities of this skin—its permeability and its resilience.

In “Autistic Phenomena in Neurotic Patients”, H. Sydney Klein (1980) describes a patient whose 4-week-old baby began to cry when he stopped talking to his wife during breast-feeding. “As soon as he started to talk again, the baby settled down.” A few weeks later, the opposite took place: the father’s voice, which earlier had been felt as a necessary support, had become an intrusion. “In the context of the session, it appeared that there is a change from an early experience of a good third object which supports the nipple to one in which it becomes hostile and intrusive.” This change implies that the capacity for appropriate splitting, which Melanie Klein (1946) considered essential for overcoming chaos and confusion and preparing for later integration, is preceded developmentally by an experience of feeling sustained by the union of the parents on the level of part-objects or of sensory modalities (touch and hearing in this particular baby).

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Medium 9781855758247

CHAPTER SEVEN: Enactments in the countertransference (with special reference to rescue fantasies with hysterical patients)

Gerrard, Jackie Karnac Books ePub

Enactments in the countertransference (with special reference to rescue fantasies with hysterical patients)

In this chapter, I describe enactments in the countertransference, spanning fantasies, actions, words, and sexual responses to patients. The origins and reverberations of the analyst’s enactments are explored in an effort to understand whether they have obstructed progress or created special moments in the therapy where shifts in the patients’ inner world, or further understanding on the part of the analyst, could occur.

I illustrate my themes with clinical vignettes from work with several patients, although I will focus mainly on work with patients who present with hysterical personality. The chapter is an endeavour to tease out what, if any, differences there may be in working with hysterical patients, as opposed to patients with other personality types, in the nature of countertransference enactments. I shall examine the role of rescue fantasies in the creation of an enactment.

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Medium 9780253009685

25. The Battle Over Family Law in Bahrain

Edited by David McMurray and Amanda Ufhe Indiana University Press ePub


On November 9, 2005, over one hundred thousand protesters—approximately one seventh of the Kingdom of Bahrain’s population at the time—flooded the streets of the capital, Manama. Most of the protesters were Shi‘a demonstrating their resistance to the government’s campaign to implement a codified family law, announced a month earlier. The measure, which was ready to be presented to Bahrain’s semi-autonomous parliament, removed adjudication of matters having to do with women and the family from Muslim religious (shari‘a) courts, whose rulings were at the judge’s discretion. Instead, family courts would follow an agreed-upon body of black-letter law and legal precedent.

The relationship between the Sunni ruling family, the Al Khalifa, and the kingdom’s majority Shi‘i population has not been an easy one. Months after promulgation of the 1972 constitution, which promised representative government and an elected parliament that would enjoy a considerable measure of authority, the constitution was suspended, followed by three decades of authoritarian rule. The ensuing discrimination against the Shi‘a led to widespread anger and frustration resulting in a series of protests (some violent) in the 1990s, yet none were as heavily attended as the 2005 demonstration against the family law.1 Community leader and Shi‘i cleric Sheikh ‘Isa Qasim left no room for doubt: the Shi‘a would never accept a codified law implemented by the government. They would resist it by battling in the streets if necessary. In a statement published on the website of the Islamic Council of Scholars, of which he was the head, Qasim said, “Our faith is more valuable to us than our blood.”

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Medium 9781855752160

26. Life-Threatening Illness

Williams, Arthur Hyatt Karnac Books ePub

An individual’s life cycle can be, and sometimes is, threatened by an illness that could prove to be fatal. In the past, such fatalities were by no means uncommon. Since the proliferation of more and more effective chemotherapeutic agents and antibiotics, the scene has altered dramatically, so that diseases hitherto known to be killers have been brought within the realm of effective life-preserving treatment. I am thinking especially of pneumonias, tuberculosis, and severe streptococcal infections. We have also, however, been confronted by other diseases, of the heart and lungs, for example, which by and large are due to cigarette smoking, alcohol, diet, and so on. In recent years there has been the HIV illness that segues into AIDS. Many who are afflicted by life-threatening illnesses appear to have developed a special kind of splitting in which the destructive parts of themselves are expressed by means of the illness, while the creative part is left fairly free to be expressed in work, art, poetry, or other often impressive ways.

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